So I guess I would call this blog a self reflection post, being that I haven't gone anywhere crazy, but have had plenty of time to think and reflect on the things in life.
I've been in Germany for over 3 months and the expectations I set for myself in the U.S. were a little too high. I thought by now I would be fluent in German and having intellectual conversations about philosophy and art history in German. But that isn't the case. German is a hard language, and with everything in life, it takes time and practice. I am not naturally a "Sprachgenie" though I wish I was. Somethings take more work than others. Being here made me realize how little I actually do know, and how much more I need to learn. Everyday I am learning something new about the language, culture, history, and people. That is what this whole experience is about. It's definitely an eye-opener. It's not easy living in a foreign country, but then again the challenge is fulfilling. I am constantly doing or saying something wrong, and have come to terms with the fact that I am not always right. Everyday I am in some sort of funny or awkward position, but hey, humility is humbling.
I've been really lucky to have met such great people here in Tuebingen. The Germans have been very helpful and take the time to practice German with me. Even though it takes me an eternity to say one sentence, they patiently wait. It makes me realize that I need to be more patient.
I started my Aufbaukurs which are the intensive language courses here in Tuebingen. I am learning so much, and feel completely overwhelmed. As crazy as this sounds, I think I thrive off of stress. How does one relieve stress in Tuebingen? Well I walk a lot. I have a lot of time to think, which is a good and bad thing. When I was in the U. S. I worked two jobs and had 16 units of classes per semester. Where was my free time? I still managed to have a social life as well. Here in Tuebingen, I am filling my time with school, homework, walking,partying, friends, and a little program called "Rent an American." Yes, that is the title of the program. People can literally rent me, for free! I go to schools and talk to the students about American culture and history. It's a great program because not only are the students learning about my homeland, but I am learning so much about them. It's a rewarding and gratifying program. Last week I talked to 15 year old students from Balingen. We bonded over American television shows like "The Simpsons, Family Guy, How I Met Your Mother........and oh yeah, Two and a Half Men." If you want to sum up Germany's form of entertainment, just say the show "Two and a Half Men." I think every German watches that show. Without Germany being strong supporters, that show wouldn't exist. So Charley Sheen and Jon Cryer should thank the country of Germany for keeping the show afloat for so long.
At the age of 23 this is my first time living away from home. I realized how lucky I was to be able to live at home and save up money for this adventure, but at the same time I realized 23 is kind of old to be living at home. The complete responsibility of taking care of myself 100% is stressful and worrisome, but satisfying. I am a big girl now, an adult, and it is starting to freak me out. I still feel like I am 16. I guess there is a time to finally grow up and cut the umbilical cord.
Grocery shopping is a new endeavor. I mean I did it in the states, but now I take the time to see what's on sale and what is feasible. Being on a budget, makes you creatively resourceful. For example lettuce was so expensive this week, so I bought a huge bag of brussel sprouts (Rosenkohl) for a fraction of the price and I am coming up with new and innovative ways of cooking them since I am going to survive off of brussel sprouts for the entire week. I have also found new ways to doing laundry. How about in my sink...yes, sometimes I do hand wash some items in the sink. Most of the time I do wash them in the washing machine, but it costs a whopping euro 1.50!! So I air dry my clothes all throughout my room. It's really interesting when neighbors and friends come over unexpectedly and there are socks hanging from the lamp or underwear drying off the bookshelf. I thought I stopped relying on mommy and daddy, but I think I will always rely on them no matter what. Being a parent is a life long commitment, and well, they had 5 commitments. So thanks mom and dad! I know I can count on you for mental and emotional support, even a place to stay when I return back to California completely broke.
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| First day of snow! |
Winter is here. Deutschland looks like a "Winterwonderland" aka Winter wonder land. You see how similar German and English is..... put it's the damn grammar that gets me every time. The snow is falling and the degrees are dropping. Right now it's pretty cold, but I hear that it gets worse. So far, I am freezing my ass off, but throughly enjoying it. My outfits are looking more and more unusual. Again, trying to be resourceful. My fashion sense has gone out the window. It's all about warmth and trying to stay acrobatically stable. Snow is slippery, and well, I have experienced a fall or two. I think I am just going to dress like a marshmallow so if I fall, I will have extra padding.
My friends. I have made so many. I am a very lucky girl to have met such genuine people. This is what I love about Germany, social status is recognized by education, experience, knowledge, and individualism. I am so used to the Orange County mentality where one has to be rich, gorgeous, and brainless to thrive in the social spectrum. Now, it's not all of Orange County, but a good amount. It can definitely mess a person up psychologically. At the same time, Orange County is beautiful, safe, and the laid back surfer mentality will always be embedded in my system. Even though I am not a surfer, I will always recognize the So Cal culture. It's definitely hard, because I feel torn between two cultures. I would love to stay in Germany, but at the same time how realistic or feasible is it? I can easily get a job in the States ...well at least I hope so. But Germany's education system is far superior than that in the States. If I have children, I think Germany would be a better environment to raise them in. Health care, retirement, and education are fantastic in Germany. I think living in another country has definitely made me understand what it is to be an American and to understand my country from a different perspective.
I am a person who constantly lives for the future. It can be a problem, because I am always thinking ahead and trying to plan my next step.I need to learn to live in the moment, instead of stressing myself out and constantly thinking about my next move. Ambition and motivation are mantras that dominate my life. All sorts of ideas run through my head, and not one fixed rule can determine what I do. I always find a way to bend the rules or find new ways. Everyday I worry about leaving Germany, when I should be relaxed, cool, and content. I need to be satisfied with my accomplishments instead of freaking out about what I need to do with my life. I will figure it out. I have already told everyone I have encountered that I am looking to marry a German to stay in Germany..... everyone laughs... but I am serious : ) Well, maybe slightly joking, slightly...
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| Anna and I with our chocolate balls at the chocolate festival |
German Generosity. The double G. Every German that I have hung out with has been extremely generous. They are people pleasers. Some more than other, but all in all I do have to say they are very generous people. Some Germans are harder to crack than others, that's just because they don't know you yet. Once they feel that level of comfort, they will give you the world. From my host family to my mentor and his family to my friends here in Deutschland, they are all so very generous. The nice thing is, they don't expect anything in return. They give and welcome you with open arms out of kindness. I love it. I have really learned from this. They are always trying to make you feel comfortable, and they feel like it is their duty to satisfy you. It is completely selfless and thoughtful. I know that I must become more generous, not just by giving items, but by going out of my way to make sure someone else is at ease and happy. It is a chain effect, you don't expect anything in return, but in some shape or another you will get something in return either gratitude, respect, a true friendship, or the fact that they have taught you something... the act of kindness. If you are welcomed into a home, the German hosts will make sure to always ask you what you would like to eat or drink, no matter how long you are there for. I thought I was a generous person, but I realized I could step up my game a little more. Like I said before it isn't just being generous with material items, it's a matter of being generous and offering comfort and ease to your guest... that is the most important thing.
Some of you are probably wondering "How is this California girl surviving in the freezing cold temperatures in Germany?" well that is a good question. Surprisingly enough, I have adapted well. It's only December, and I heard it gets worst, but so far so good. Yeah the coldest temperatures have reached a whopping -12 degrees. It's funny to think that the other day my friend Anna and I were warm in 5 degree weather. The sun was shining and we were waiting for the bus. We said to one another, " Damn, I am warm, maybe sweating." We literally thought 5 degree weather was warm. Maybe the coldness has gotten to our heads. Apparently it gets real cold in February... we will see how I survive then.
Tis the season! Germany looks like Santa's village. There are tons of "Weihnachtmarkt" Christmas markets all through out the country. It is so cute and a true Christmas sense fills the air. I tell my friends that in California there are palm trees covered in Christmas lights and every house is in competition with one another of who has the most Christmas decorations and lights. Then they refer my comment back to Chevy Chase's "Christmas Vacation" which is soooo awesome! I tell them, yes, yes America is like that and then laugh. The air here smells of roasted almonds and cinnamon. Glühwein is an important factor to the Christmas season. If you don't know what Glühwein ,it is pure genius. It is warm wine filled with an array of spices and goodness. This delicious treat can be found in all the Christmas markets. You can make it at home, so just look it up online. I highly recommend it. Here is a link to the recipe in English and in German, so if you want to practice on your German, here you go!
http://www.altfrankfurt.com/Weihnachten/
For Christmas I was fortunately invited to spend the holidays with my mentor and his family. I will be in Ravensburg celebrating a true Schwäbisch Christmas. I am celebrating Christmas with good people, a good environment, and good food. I am so thankful and happy to be celebrating the holidays with a family. A real German family. Ich freue mich! I know my family back home are more concerned about me and if I will be homesick for the holidays, but to be honest with you... I am so content and happy here in Germany. Once my family will see where I am living, they will understand. I just wanted to let them know that without them, this whole adventure wouldn't have been possible. Especially to my mom and dad, they are my biggest supporters, but also the ones who are most concerned. I am truly thankful for my parents in every way. Without them I wouldn't have been able to see world or live this life. So this is a shout out to mom and dad! Thank you for letting me live in your house and save money for this trip, thanks for your support, and thanks for supporting me with all my crazy ideas or endeavors.... because there has been a few here and there. You have been my biggest fans, and I am truly grateful to have you as wonderful parents. I Love You!
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| My mom and dad and I at my pseudo graduation |
So this is probably going to be my last blog till after the first of the year. I will be traveling around France with my friend Jackie. Bonjour, Au revoir, Oui, Merci! Oh I love the French! So I won't be talking to you till next year. But I wish all of you a Happy Holiday Season and a Happy New Year! Be safe and take care!
Viele liebe Gruesse,
Julie
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| Happy Holidays 1988 The Kijewski Family. |
